The Official Writing Challenge
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Loved how you wrote this! I have often thought about those who served under Rome and yet did believe in Jesus as the Son of God, and the spiritual torment they must have endured. Well done!
Jesus is definitely a Wow story, there's some minor editing problems, punctuation mainly, but those can be easily fixed. The intense emotion with which you told the story gave me goosebumps. Great writing.
03/21/10
I really love when people write stories from the POV of someone who was present at a biblical event.

The only "off" note here--ironically--was the word "wow", which seemed out of time. The story itself definitely had a "wow" factor, and would have been on topic without using the actual word.

Great title, and a really well-written story.
03/21/10
I love the behind-the-scenes feel that you gave this story, including the friendship between these two Roman soldiers that we hear about in Scripture who believed Jesus was the Son of God. Beautifully written and an especially great story to share with Easter so close. This is one of the best entries I've read in this level for the week. :)
03/24/10
Although this was written in a conversational tone, there was no conversation, just telling. The tellling was stilted and not natural. I did not get the "wow" factor, and I agree, "wow" would not have been used in Biblical times. Keep writing.
03/25/10
Kelli, super congrats on receiving "highly commended" for this lovely entry!