The Official Writing Challenge
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WOW! This is incredible story! I was thinking, "this must be another "'it's only a dream-story." But you did not disappoint a reader like me who was in for an adventure. I enjoyed your thrilling story. I loved the 'providence' in the way the young woman's prayer was answered. Did they marry?
Good job.
This was so sweet, tender, majestic, romantic and Godly. It also had me on the edge of my seat! :)

I do hope you will write a sequel...just have to see what happens between these two. ;) Good story!
Very suspenseful with a nice bit of romance thrown in.
03/21/10
Well-written, and will definitely appeal to fans of both romance and allegory.

The first paragraph alluded to a previous experience, and so it lost me for a bit. After a paragraph or so, the narrative really seemed to get back on track.
03/23/10
You put me in the emotion of the moment with your MC being chased by the mountain lion. You have wonderful symbolism with the hero , "stood like the tall, protecting mountain behind him." I also appreciated the "laid down his life for mine." Nicely written!
03/24/10
Great story with some very intense emotional pull. The tension might have been heightened by some shorter sentences, as you did so beautifully with the one word: Movement. More sentences like that interspersed might kick up it up an extra notch.

Well done.
03/24/10
First paragraph was a little to long. Personally I thought the comparisons were a little too trite, we have read them all before, a new twist would have been refreshing. Keep writing.
I love allegories and this one did not disappoint. The storyline was good, too. My only "red ink" would be to suggest shortening some of your paragraphs. By breaking them up, it would cause the reader to see more of what is happening in the story itself instead of a lot of words on a page.
03/24/10
I enjoyed it. And was engrossed in the feel, visuals and emotion of the piece. The rest of the fine tuning will come with practice, but you have the soul of a writer; a voice that needs to be heard. Keep at it. God bless.
03/24/10
Awww!

Interesting how you took it from a time of reflection and praise to a sudden life and death situation.

Good job!
04/15/10
Thanks for the comments and suggestions everybody! For future reference to readers of this story, I wrote it as a sequel to my previous entry "Whispers in the Wind." If you read that one you'll know what storm the character is refering to in the beginning paragraph.