Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Phew! (02/11/10)

TITLE: Did I miss anything?
By Author Unknown
02/17/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Janie finished buckling Ethan into his car seat. His dark tangle of curls barely pushed into place. At least she’d wiped the jam off his cheeks. “There you go, Peanut,” she smiled, “let’s get to church, okay? Mommy doesn’t want to be late for her meeting.”

Ethan kicked his feet and squealed, “Yeah!”

Janie was glad he was so cooperative this morning. It took at least 20 minutes to get to church on a good day. A smile dimpled Ethan’s cheeks. He waved as she closed the back door.

Cold whipped at Janie’s slacks, sneaking into the front seat before her. She would have preferred a minivan but Ryan vetoed that. Still, the Civic was a nice car, and it had heated seats. She pushed the power button and the car quietly purred.

She backed down the driveway. Soon their subdivision faded from sight and they were on the outskirts of town. Janie’s nimble fingers found the right CD and pressed play. She grinned over her shoulder at Ethan knowing he loved the kids’ praise songs that were about to play. “Sing real loud for me, okay Buddy?” Janie could see Ethan’s exaggerated nods in the rear view mirror.

It was the first stoplight on Main Street. Janie hated this corner. She and Ryan had moved from Chicago three years ago, but her pulse still quickened even in this small town. She just never felt safe, especially with Ethan in the car. She could still hear the pounding against the window and see the gun pointed at Ryan’s head. No one was hurt, but Janie’s body reacted instinctively even now.

She discreetly felt the lock to make sure it was set. Reassured, she dropped her arm into her lap, feigning casualty, remembering to focus her attention on the light. A blush warmed her cheeks. She remembered the silver ictus on her bumper.

A real Christian doesn’t act this way, Christ would be perfectly comfortable at this stoplight. Why can’t I relax? Why is this light always so long?

Janie shifted in her seat and noticed Ethan waving in the backseat. She followed his gaze to the woman outside the convenience store. Janie had seen her there before.

“Mommy, why does that lady over there have a piece of paper?” Ethan asked.

“Well, it says she’s a Mommy who needs some food for her kids. That’s all.” Janie sped up relieved the light finally blinked green.

Janie turned onto Market Street and saw a line gathering outside of the local soup kitchen. She kept meaning to volunteer there, but something always got in the way. No one chided her for it, either. She did have a little one, after all, though that didn’t ease her guilt.

“Hey Mommy?” chirped Ethan.

“Yes, Ethan, what is it?” Janie turned on her blinker as she rounded the corner onto Park Lane.

“Why were all those people standing outside that building?” asked Ethan.

“They’re hungry, Honey, and it’s a cold day. That building is warm and has food for them.” Janie watched as the city started to recede into the horizon. The earth rolled into gentle waves of green speckled with white again. She felt her shoulders relax.

Janie mentally checked off her list of things she was supposed to cover at the meeting. The new addition was a big deal; she still couldn’t believe they asked her to help design it. It was going to be a state-of-the-art hospitality wing with a coffee bar and a bookstore. It would minister to the young adults just moving to the area.

Janie pulled into the Park Lane Christian Fellowship parking lot. She unbuckled Ethan and stood him on the pavement next to the car.

“Stay right there, don’t move” Janie urged. Ethan nodded.

Janie grabbed Ethan’s backpack and set the car alarm with one hand while she grabbed Ethan’s hand with the other. “We’re in a hurry, Buddy, we need to walk fast.”

Ethan grinned, fast was good.

Inside the foyer, Janie quickly squeezed their coats between the others, then hurried Ethan into the child-care center. She slipped into the fellowship hall and found a seat at the table. Taking out her notebook she blew out a deep breath. She leaned over, and whispered to Lisa, “Phew! I almost didn’t make it. Did I miss anything?”

------
“He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me— you failed to do it to me.”
Matthew 25:45 The Message


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 900 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/18/10
Wow! A powerful message. I liked how you just quoted the scripture in the end. You didn't beat your message into the reader. You let Jesus say it all. Well done.
Judy Wood02/18/10
Wow. You brought home the fact as christians we often get so involved in "meetings", but fail to show the love we should outside the church building. Thanks for this wonderful story.
Mildred Sheldon02/19/10
You did such a wonderful job in telling your story. I loved how you quoted scripture at the end. It bought everything into perpective. Keep writing.
harvestgal Ndaguba02/21/10
I think this story was excellent. What a powerful message and how well you brought it out. Thanks.
Joan Campbell02/22/10
Well written, powerful message. The "did I miss anything?" summed it up for me. So often we miss God's prompts!
Sarah Elisabeth 02/23/10
Very powerful last line!

I was thrown a little by Ethan's questions...in a car seat, I envisioned him as a toddler, not yet speaking in complete sentences.

Other than that, I thought this was really good writing!
Lollie Hofer 02/23/10
I loved the actions and questions of Ethan. The mc's voice was strong and believable. And then you hit us with the Truth at the very end. Great story.
Beth LaBuff 02/23/10
You have a great message/reminder delievered in an enjoyable, thought-provoking story. Nice work!
Yvonne Blake 02/24/10
You showed the emotions well by their actions.
Beth LaBuff 02/25/10
Congrats on your ribbon, Lynn!!