The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/18/10
I enjoyed your story.We do need the love of our heavenly Father. Isn't it great to run into those comforting arms?
Your story was full of excitement. There were a couple of typos, but nothing that distracted from the exciting story.
Isn't it wonderful knowing that we can run into the arms of our Savior. I loved your story. Keep writing.
Wow, really enjoyed this. Keep writing.
This was a great story, but I think it could be just as great without "the moral of the story" explicitly written. If you ended it with Irene's mother sharing some comforting words- or similar- the same message would be conveyed and your readers are savvy enough to get it. You've done a great job telling & showing and I was caught up in the story right to the end. Good work, hope you don't mind my red pen, just know my red pen is leaving a smiley face and a check plus at the top, too.
02/22/10
Very engaging story, with a good message tucked inside!