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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Ohhh…. (02/04/10)

TITLE: Surprises
By Patricia Protzman


Marcy stood by the bathroom sink, her gaze fixed on a pregnancy test stick. She closed her eyes and whispered, “Lord, please don’t let me be pregnant.” Her eyes opened to a rose-pink colored band in the test window.

“Ohhh.... I can’t believe I’m pregnant, we tried to be careful.” Marcy muttered, as she flung the test stick into the waste basket. She shuffled across the hall, laid upon her bed, and stared at the ceiling.

I’ve awakened the last two mornings nauseated. Three pregnancies in three years, this will make four babies, five if it’s twins again. Greg will be happy, he wants a large family. I do too, but I’d rather not have the babies so close together. The surprise Valentine dinner I planned for the two of us tonight won’t be the only surprise.

Marcy closed her eyes.

No one else is aware of this pregnancy. I could drive to the next town where nobody knows me and the problem would be resolved. Mom and dad have the children and it’s early enough in the day. I think I could get it done before Greg came home. No one will ever know.

God says, “Thou Shalt Not Murder” (Exodus 20:13 NIV.)

I don’t think God considers this murder. It hasn’t developed into an actual baby, yet, and would be like a miscarriage.

God told Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you...” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV)

No one understands how I feel. This is my body and I know what’s good for me. God doesn’t want me to go through another pregnancy if I don’t want to. I have three babies.

”Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (I Corinthians 6: 19, 20 NIV)

Marcy was jolted from her reflections by door chimes.

She stepped into her slippers, hurried to the living room, and opened the door. A young man stood there with a white, porcelain vase full of pink roses.

“Are you Mrs. Marcy Blevins?” He asked.


“These are for you.”

“Thank you. Uh...let me get you a tip.” She placed the roses on an end table and removed a few dollars from her purse. “Here you go. Have a nice day.”

“Thanks, you too.”

The card read, “Marcy, to my eternal love. Happy Valentine’s Day! Your Lover, Greg”

Mmmm...Heavenly fragrance. Greg never forgets. He is the best husband.

Marcy ambled toward the family room and settled into one of the bean bag chairs. Her eyes moved to a gold frame which held three treasures—her children. Angelic faces stared back; Jody, two years old and the twins Amy and Michael, who celebrated their one-year-old birthday last month. Sometime next spring, another cherub would be added to the family.

I don’t know why those awful ideas came into my mind. Lord, forgive me for these evil thoughts. I could never kill one of my unborn children. Please give me the strength to take care of my babies and Greg.

Marcy stood, ran her fingers across the children’s images and said, “I love you.”

The next few hours she tidied the house, prepared dinner, and dressed. The front door slammed shut. Greg sauntered into the kitchen and placed his arms around Marcy’s waist. He bent down, kissed her lips, and said, “I see you received the roses, like them? Where are the kids?”

“I love the roses. Mom and dad have the children. I wanted to surprise you with a Valentine’s Day dinner.”

“Yum, it smells good in here. What did you fix?”

“Steaks, shrimp, baked potatoes, tossed salad, and chocolate fudge cake with fudge frosting, your favorites.”

“Wow.” Oh, I have another surprise.” Greg said as he waved a piece of paper.

“Oh yeah? I have another one for you, too and it’s a doozy, I’ll tell you later. What’s your surprise?”

“I received a raise in my salary. Isn’t that great?” He asked caressing her cheek.

She smiled, gazed up into his green eyes, and said, “Yes it is, honey. The extra money will come in handy. Babies are expensive.”

He pulled her close and asked, “Can’t you give me a hint what your surprise is?

“Sure,” Marcy said as she stood on her toes to receive his kiss. “Our love.”

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This article has been read 398 times
Member Comments
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/11/10
A very good message on a controversial topic. I'm so glad she made the right decision. It's amazing how when we think we can't do something, God always provides, either with a pay raise or some other way.

When you use the word dad as a substitute for a name it should be capitalized, generally if a pronoun like my doesn't precede it, start it with a capital.

Other than that little thing, it was well-written and touched my heart.
Angie Ragg02/11/10
Thank you for this story. Thank you for tackling this subject. My favorite part was when the surprise was "our love". Perfect.
Judy Wood02/11/10
I like the way your showed that even christians at times can have thoughts that we regret, but concentrating on God's word can show us the way to what we should do. Good job.
Mildred Sheldon02/12/10
What a beautiful story of how God works in our lives and shows us right from wrong. It is amazing how he miraculously provides all of our needs. Thank you for a touching story of God's love. Keep writing and God bless.
c clemons02/15/10
You did a good job here. Thanks for the posting.
Jan Ackerson 02/17/10
Such an important message!

The section where she is considering abortion and remembering Scripture seems bulky to me...people don't generally think in complete scriptures with parenthetical references...maybe she could recall the gist of the scripture, then you could cite them at then end? That might improve the flow and pacing.

I loved your last line--that the surprise was their strong love. Surprised me!
Sarah Elisabeth 02/18/10
A very well written piece, congrats on your highly commended award!