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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Grrr! (01/28/10)

TITLE: The Newlyweds
By Scarlett Farr
02/02/10


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“Mom is coming to visit,” Sean announced one night during dinner.

“Really? When is she coming?” Laurie asked, excited to have their first visitor since the wedding.

“She’ll be here for the weekend. I will pick her up from the airport after lunch Friday,” he replied.

Laurie was preparing dinner when Sean and his mother came in the door. After hugs and kisses all around, Laurie went back to the kitchen. Sean followed and offered to help. “Get out of here, silly,” Laurie teased. “You never help with cooking.”

“Well, I thought you could use a helping hand,” Sean replied as his mother came into the kitchen.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Laurie instructed as Sean began to slice the roast. “It will get cold before the rest of the food is ready.” Sean put the knife down and gave Laurie a look. When his mother was out of earshot, Sean grumbled, “Please don’t do that in front of mom.”

“Do what?” Laurie asked

“Correct me in front of her.” Sean said. “You embarrassed me.”

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Laurie consoled as she gave Sean a peck on the cheek. “I didn’t do it on purpose, I just want the meal to be perfect.”

After dinner everyone took their dishes to the kitchen and Sean started loading the dishwasher. “Sean, the goblets don’t go in the dishwasher, and the knives need to go point down,” Laurie said as she walked by carrying the serving platter.

“Please stop it,” Sean grunted under his breath so his mom couldn’t hear.

“Oops, sorry,” Laurie apologized, “but you have to load the dishwasher “just so” to get the most in it. Here, just let me do it.” She pushed Sean out of the kitchen and finished the job herself.

As they got ready for bed Laurie noticed a chill in the air. “Are you okay, honey?”

“Why do you keep correcting me in front of mom?” Sean groused. “I asked you not to, but you keep doing it anyway.”

“I promise I am not trying to embarrass you. You are just being sensitive. Besides, why don’t you just spend some time with your mom and stop trying to impress her with your domestic skills?” Laurie joked as she rubbed Sean’s shoulders.

“Please, just promise me you will stop talking to me like a child the rest of the weekend.”

“Yes, sir.” Laurie clicked her heels together and saluted Sean in a teasing manner. “Love you, mean it!”

The next morning Laurie was frying bacon when Sean came into the kitchen. As he reached around her to grab bacon off the serving dish, Laurie scolded, “Sean, stop it, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.” She heard a groan and turned to see Sean giving her another look.

"Sorry, honey,” she mouthed as Sean’s mom walked in.

During breakfast the three decided to go antiquing in the next town. They got in the car and Sean pulled out of the garage. As he pulled onto the highway Laurie said, “Sean, why did you turn left? The quickest way to the antique shop is to turn right and take Highway 101.” When Sean growled through gritted teeth, “Because this is the way I want to go, HONEY,” she turned away in embarrassment and looked intently out the window.

As they were driving through the countryside, Laurie continued to look out the passenger window. Most of the leaves were off the trees now and Laurie could see far into the woods. She noticed a little squirrel scampering through the woods ahead of them. When she realized the squirrel was on a path that would put him squarely under their front tire, she flung her arms up, braced against the dashboard and screamed, “SLOW DOWN OR YOU’LL KILL HIM!”

Startled, Sean slammed on brakes and yelled, “What the heck?”

Laurie, realizing that she was the only one who had seen the squirrel, stared back at Sean sheepishly. “Well, um, you see, there was a little squirrel . . . ,” her voice trailed off as she heard a menacing “Grrrrrr,” from the driver’s side of the car.


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This article has been read 504 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Renee Polson02/04/10
I get that same "GRRR" from my husband now when I shout out while he is driving and we've not been newly weds for a LONG time! cute story... thanks for bringing back those first year memories
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/05/10
You did a great job bringing the characters to life. The dialogue was quite realistic.
Rikki Akeo02/06/10
Guilty, as charged. Your writing is like a reflective mirror, gazing back at me...
c clemons02/07/10
My,my she was a slow learner, I hope they are still together :) Writing was good.
Gregory Kane02/07/10
I like the way that the wife just didn't get it. Humorous and all too realistic! I felt that we never really got to understand the mother-in-law. Perhaps a couple of lines from her would have told us whether Sean was over-reacting or not
Ruth Brown 02/07/10
Been there, made every mistake, still do. Good Grrr story.Realistic.
Mona Purvis02/09/10
So husbands do mind the corrections? Who knew? Enjoyed every line. I watch out for squirrels, too.

Mona
Jackie Wilson02/09/10
Your characters and their dialog were very believable, and a great fit with your story situation. The young couple's emotional friction was captured just right, and kept things moving. Kudos on a great story!
Carol Slider 02/09/10
Good job, very realistic! I still do this, alas, after almost 20 years of marriage... :)
Loren T. Lowery02/09/10
Well done with so many true-to-life vignettes. It brought back a lot of memories when my wife and I were first wed. I liked the way their relationship with one another was open - each willing to say what might bother them. A real sign of a mature relationship.
Lyn Churchyard02/09/10
Very true to life and I think we've all been through similar when newlyweds *sigh*. I agree with Greg, having the mother in law maybe say something to her son and maybe even her daughter in law would have been good. I like the ending, just when she's trying not to make comments some pesky squirrel gets in the way. I enjoyed reading this, well done.
Edmond Ng 02/09/10
I can feel the Grrr building up as the story progresses. Your description and writing is very realistic, so much so it successfully stirs up some fumes within! When not handled carefully, such situations can lead to conflicts, and it will not be just newlyweds!
Lollie Hofer 02/10/10
Been there, done that! Unfortunately, after almost 34 years of marriage, I still occasionally catch myself "nagging." This was a well-written story with excellent dialogue.
Sarah Elisabeth 02/12/10
Hey Scarlett, congrats on your placing! Awesome!