The Official Writing Challenge
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Thank you for sharing this story. I truly enjoyed this very much. We have many oops moments in life but isn't it wonderful how God turns oops moments into victorious ones. Keep writing and God bless.
I liked this entry better than mine. I like the fact that when you write, we learn something. The writing style flows smoothly, including the dialogue. I think I recognize this writing voice. Nice surprise ending too.

Oop. I talk too much.
Good dialogue, love the cultural info and the great message.
I enjoyed this story. I like the ending. It shows that even when we are not perfect, we can do something good for those around us.
I enjoyed this story too. But the word, "oops" was quite overused...a little distracting. But over all, your writing was good. Thank you.
Very good! I could really relate to your main character; she seemed quite real.

I've started a thread in the message boards specifically for Beginner and Intermediate writers, and I'd love to have you stop by.
Very nice story. Too bad Denise got sent home, but her disobedience might have gained a new Christian. Well done and congratulations.