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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: The Crack of the Whip
By D.A. Urnosky


I was chosen because I am the strongest with the quickest wrist action to give the whip an extra snap at the end. They use me on the prisoners who have a muscular stature or high ranking enemies that need to be broken down quickly. I have never failed to answer the call. That is why I live in opulent quarters like a senator with slaves at my beck and call.

Imagine my surprise when I walked out to the whipping post to find them preparing a thin frail looking man for the post. You could see the connection of his ribs to his backbone as his arms were stretched around the pole and tied.

“There must be some mix up,” I whispered to my captain. “Was I sent for in error?”

“Not at all,” I was told. “Get ready unless you want to join him.”

I picked out a whip from my arsenal and made a few practice swings. My wrist was grabbed on the down stroke of my third practice swing and a different whip was thrust into my hand. One I had never seen nor used before. It was a whip made with broken glass and at the end was a metal ball with two hooks. I looked at my captain, but said nothing when I saw the expression on his face.

I approached the prisoner, raised the whip and swung with all my might. It crashed down on the man’s back with a loud crack, breaking the skin and tearing into the flesh causing pieces and blood to fly in all directions. The man remained quiet.

Again and again I lashed out at the man’s back goaded on by the others. Sweat poured down my face as I mustered all my strength for the next assault. Still the man stayed silent.

The flesh was gone by the time my captain held up his hand. I was covered in blood and tissue from the man lying against the post. I had given it my all and yet he never yelled out once during the flogging which I found vey peculiar.

I watched the others untie the man from the post, pick him up and drag him back to the prison area. I looked into the man’s eyes as he passed me. I saw kindness and peace ... and love. I was so flabbergasted that I grabbed hold of a shard of glass from the whip as I was winding it up.

“Ow!” I yelled out as I looked at the gash in my calloused palm.

“Good work” the captain came over to me. “Go and clean yourself up.”

“Yes sir”

As the captain turned and started to walk away I asked. “Sir, what did this man do to deserve such a harsh sentence?”

He replied, “He was the King of the Jews.”

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This article has been read 445 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shilo Goodson01/14/10
I liked this although I never imagined Christ as a "thin frail looking man." For me, different wording would have worked better there, but that's my only real suggestion.
D.A. Urnosky01/15/10
I agree with you Shilo. I don't see Jesus as a thin frail main, either. But through the eyes of a strong muscular Roman shoulder, I can see were he would.
This is an emotional piece but quite inconsistent with the sacred scriptures. The whip used on the Lord Jesus in the gospel accounts could have been a scourge or a reed. I suggest that a prosaic work of fiction should not bear names of real people or allude to them like you have done.
All the same, this is a nice piece. Keep on writing.
Mildred Sheldon01/16/10
I enjoyed this article and thank you for sharing.
Jan Ackerson 01/18/10
Biblical fiction that postulates the lives of people not specifically mentioned in the Bible is very appealing, and helps to illuminate Scripture. Thanks for this story!

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".
Julie Seeto01/19/10
In the second para, I just knew this was going to be about Jesus and flinched when reading the rest of the story. Very well written.