The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/16/10
I like how you brought in the mom's workload as an "owie." Very perceptive. Always double check for formatting and punctuation issues. A couple little errors distracted from a sweet story.
What a sweet tender story. I could truly relate to the problems mothers face. Thank you for sharing.
01/18/10
Children are so wise, aren't they?

Since this isn't really written from Kim's POV, I think it'd be more effective if Mom and Dad were given names.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

This is a precious story.
01/21/10
This is so true - sometimes we need to let others know we are hurting. Or we might suffer from burnout. Good story.