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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: Being an Outcast
By Kathy Bruins


The roaring of the ticking clock against the tensed-filled silence in the room gave reminder that time was still passing. Megan’s eyes darted from one area of the room to another. I see the trembling child she was 13 years ago. She didn’t want to be here at the home, but there was no place else for her to go right now. Her family had deserted her to handle her “peculiarities.”

“I want to go,” she said lowly like a crouching animal.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere…it doesn’t matter. I just want to get out.”

I leaned forward in my chair with my feet flat on the floor. Putting down my pen, I looked at the woman trying to hide like a child within herself and be free of the world. How could she understand that there is a purpose for her being alive and thriving in her life? Finding her mother brutally murdered at the age of eight left such a hold on her embalming her in terror and pain. She lived out that pain in actions not socially normal such as screaming, eating dirt, slashing herself and others with sharp objects and hiding in dark places. Now her family has turned her over to the psychiatric home and left wanting no more contact with her. I fumed at the thought of their selfish act. This girl needed them more than ever, and they turned their back on her.

Suddenly, the side of my face exploded with the impact of the photo frame from my desk. Two security people rushed in and grabbed Megan before she could do further harm to me or herself. She screamed like a wild animal and thrust her body to try and loosen their grips on her, but finally relaxed as they gave her a sedative.

My assistant, Linda, rushed in. “Are you alright?”

I touched the blood dripping from my forehead and nodded thinking it was going to leave a mark for sure. Picking up the photo that Megan whipped at me, I realized the picture of my family probably set her off in her own despair of feeling “family less” in her life. God knew there was great pain and agony in being family less. That was not God’s plan. God provided for people to be in family…in God’s family forever. The harvest is so ripe to bring family into the fold. The family workers have a call to bring in those currently family less in the Kingdom for the great reunion.

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This article has been read 475 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sharon Laughter01/15/10
A very good story and well written; however how it filled the assignment kind of is escaping me?
Angela Linton01/15/10
A touching story indeed.
Mildred Sheldon01/17/10
I could feel the pain of Megan. Losing her mother at such a young age wreaks havoc on a childs development. If not handled properly problems arise just like Megans. They are major ows in life. Thanks for sharing.
Amanda Brogan01/17/10
Great ending! There are hurting people in this world, and it's our job to introduce them to the greatest Father there is and embrace them as family. I hope Megan was able to get some help. :)
Jan Ackerson 01/18/10
My heart breaks for children like Megan.

There were some awkward sentence constructions, but they didn't greatly interfere with the mood of this story, and our sense of the narrator's compassion.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

I caught the tie-in to the topic in a few places--Megan's obvious hurt, and the pain of the narrator when the picture hit her face. Well done.