The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/29/09
Really good thoughts. I saw a couple of minor mistakes, but you probably caught them already.Keep it up.
11/02/09
good tie in of the subject to the ending. great build up. the ending seemed a bit abrupt to me, though. i can see a follow up or several oin how this played out with the kids and the family. over all, very nice. keep at it!!!
11/03/09
good idea. I would have liked the story to contiue in the same vein right through. the last two paragraphs seems to alter the tack to try and turn it to a devotional and it was a lovely story as it was!