The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/22/09
Sad story, but glad it ended on a hope note. Overall writing was good.
10/23/09
OOOO gosh! I suppose with this topic we are going to get some dark peices. I think I am going to have to read them in small doses.
Well done
Very powerful and oh so very true. Life upon this earth is and can be demanding. All the angels rejoice when just one sinner repents and turns to the Lord. Thank you.
10/27/09
Scary and powerful story.

I don't think you need the ~ to separate sections. It's more effective to just use a transitional word or phrase, especially since the gaps in time between sections are not that great. This will help your story to flow more smoothly.

The funeral scene is very moving.
Wow,I loved the powerful ending. Even in death, we win. We have eternal life. Awesome.