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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Black (10/15/09)

TITLE: The Crayon Monster
By Misti Chancellor
10/16/09


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Crayons spilled from the box and rolled across and under the papers on the table as Marta grabbed the coloring book from James.

“It’s mine. You can’t have it,” she grumped, a defiant look on her face.

“Mo-o-m,” James screeched, convincing tears pooling in his eyes, “she tooked it fwom me. Make her give back.”

Gwen sighed and shuffled across the room to mediate between the squabblers. “Kids, honestly… must you fuss ALL the time?”

Rain pounded against the window for the fifth day in a row. Sending the kids outdoors to play wasn’t an option.

Gwen morosely picked up the crayons and worked on stuffing them back in the box. A blank spot mocked her efforts.

“Marta, where’s the black crayon?”

“I dunno. Maybe James ate it.”

“James, have you seen it?”

“Uh-uh, mama… I not see it.”

“Help me look for it. Marta, pick up the papers and put them in a pile… neatly. James, crawl under the table and see if it’s there.”

Marta pulled the papers into a lopsided pile as James scooted underneath the table, dusting the floor with his backside as he hunted for the crayon.

“It’s not here, Mama,” Marta sighed dramatically. “I guess it’s losted forever. Maybe the crayon monster took it.” An ornery smirk flitted across her face.

“No, No! No cwayon monster,” James wailed from under the table. “Mama, tell her stop it.”

“Marta, that’s really unnecessary,” Gwen sighed wearily as she picked up the black crayon from the kitchen chair cushion, “Be nice to your brother. Come out and look, James, it’s right here. I’ll let you put it into the box.”

James scrambled from under the table, and gloated at Marta, “See, no cwayon monster.”

Marta grinned an ornery grin, “Oh, yes there is. It just wasn’t hungry today. But just wait, tonight, when all the lights are off and it’s pitch black, the crayon monster will come sneaking into your room and eat your crayons.”

James looked at her, his brown eyes huge, “Not either. You just teasing me. Mama, tell her stop it.”

Marta came toward him, monster-like, “Here comes the crayon monster, coming to eat your crayons.”

James shrieked and ran and hid behind Gwen. “Mama… she gonna get me.”

“Enough, Marta! James, she’s just teasing, you’re going to be fine. Now stop pulling on my skirt.” Gwen snapped, her patience wearing thin. “Marta, go find a book and sit on the couch and be quiet. James, let’s go find some toys in your room to play with. It sounds like we all need some quiet time, and later we can do something to see if we can’t put a little sunshine into this gloomy day.”

-----------

Silence descended on the kitchen. A thin black creature detached itself from the wall. It jumped softly onto the table, causing the pile of papers to slide back across the tabletop. A curious sniff at the box of crayons and a swipe of the paw knocked the crayons to the chair, spilling them from the box. Leaping gently into the chair, the creature picked up the black crayon in its teeth and jumped to the floor. It ran silently into the laundry room, dropped the black crayon down the heating vent, and curled up on the grate, purring softly, as the heater kicked on and ruffled it’s black fur.


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This article has been read 332 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Cindy Moore10/22/09
This was cute! I love the cat!
diana kay10/22/09
Oh I do like this peice. I can just imagine the kids... and the weary mum ....
Sylvia Brown10/22/09
Very thoughtful and somewhat different. Just don't read that last part to the little ones.
Ruth Brown 10/22/09
Adorable,Loved all the interactions.
Mark Bell10/23/09
this was good! i have always loved stories where animals become real life characters. nice job of saving that whole idea for the end.
Lisa Keck10/23/09
The characters and dialog really carried the story. Good job! I don't know why people think the creature is a cat--it's obviously the crayon monster who comes out of the shadows.
Philippa Geaney10/23/09
Yes of course! It is the crayon monster.I like it.
Colin Nielsen 10/23/09
I'm amazed at some of the skill of the writers here. Just finished reading the story to my 6 yo daughter. She loved it.

Well done.
Mildred Sheldon10/24/09
I loved the crayon monster. Cats are strange little critters and they do what they want. Cats are such a joy. Thanks for such a charming story.
Lisa Cox10/25/09
Love the paragraph at end where the crayon monster comes in....very nicely done...
Beth LaBuff 10/26/09
ah ha! so there really is a crayon monster... this was a lot of fun, with a fantastic ending! :)
larry troxell 10/27/09
i can hear my grandchildren having this discussion. kept me engaged. humorous. and all cat lovers can relate to the monster!
Joy Faire Stewart10/27/09
Being a cat lover, I found this adorable.
Jan Ackerson 10/27/09
Adorable story, loved the switch in mood at the ending.

Your very last sentence should have "its" (no apostrophe. "It's" with an apostrophe is short for "it is". To remember the possessive "its", think of "his" and "hers" without their apostrophes.

This is really top-notch writing.
Mona Purvis10/27/09
Refreshing and good take on topic. Siblings can wear a mother down as you reveal in this interesting entry.

Mona
Carol Slider 10/27/09
What a fun story, with a great ending! The cat would just have to choose the BLACK crayon, wouldn't he? It would be interesting to know what happened the next day. Enjoyed it!
Loren T. Lowery 10/28/09
Very realistic theme and dialogue. I could picture the whole thing. And the ending, could not have been written better! Great job!
Laury Hubrich 10/28/09
Love this. Very cute:)
Patricia Turner10/28/09
Sure sounds like you've been there. You wrote so realistically. I enjoyed the children's voices and could certainly empathize with the frazzled mom. The cat at the end is a cute touch. I too wonder what happens the next day. Terrific writing.
Shilo Goodson10/28/09
Your dialogue was wonderful as is your story writing ability. It was easy to see the sister teasing her brother. It definately felt real.


   
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