I am soo excited! Today is my due date. I am expecting lovely little Tanya or Robert any second now. No labor pains yet, but maybe I’ll be lucky and they won’t come. I can hardly wait. I have my suitcase packed, my Lamaze class is finished, my husband’s number is on speed dial, the hospital is on speed dial too, and now I just have to wait.
I’m still waiting. Sweet little Tanya/Robert is taking his or her time. Well, that’s okay. I love a baby with individuality. She or he will come soon, I know. Besides, this gives me time to make sure that all last-minute touches are done in the baby’s room. Everything is in green—the walls, the clothes, the diaper bag…. It seemed like a good idea at the time…
Still waiting. I’m getting a little impatient. Come on, Tanya or Robert. Don’t you want to see what the world looks like? What your mommy and daddy look like? Come on, baby!
February 7 4am
Finally. Labor pains. Not too bad. I don’t know what all the fuss was about.
Feb 7 7 am
Now I know what all the fuss was about.
I’m going to die. Lamaze shlamaze. And I’m not even in the hospital yet!
Finally—the pains are 5 min apart. I can FINALLY go to the hospital.
Well, I’m back. We’re back. We are now a proud family of three: Mommy, Daddy, and precious little Roberta. Why didn’t John tell me that he never really liked the name Tanya until after she was born? Roberta is just fine. Just take some getting used to. And besides, her full name is Roberta Tanya.
Our first morning after the first night. Roberta didn’t cry at all last night. She was the perfect little princess. We had the baby monitor on and still went into her room at least ten times, just to check on her. This is going to be a breeze. Roberta, you are a special little girl. I knew you would be.
Okay. Robbie is a normal baby. She has been up for three nights in a row. She cries, gets fed, goes to sleep, wakes up, cries, gets changed, gets fed, goes to sleep. I feel like a milk cow. I can’t seem to sleep when she sleeps, and so I’m exhausted. But I know this is normal. And she’s beautiful. And John is such a help. He gets out of bed, changes her, and brings her to me. Breastfeeding is, well, a lot of responsibility. But I can handle it. Anything for Robbie.
This is not normal. It can’t be. She is crying all the time. When she wakes up, she cries, when she eats, she only is quiet for about 5 minutes and then she cries, when she goes to bed she cries IN HER SLEEP!!!! What am I doing wrong? I am feeding her, giving her clean diapers, giving her baths—why can’t she just go to sleep and stay asleep??
Robbie slept for 5 hours in a row today. Is she okay? Is it all right for a baby to sleep that long? I was so worried I even called the doctor. He said it was perfectly normal. I hope so.
Okay, now the kid has her days and nights mixed up. She is awake all night and sleeps all day. Could that have anything to do with the fact that John went back to work yesterday? Robbie—I love you, but you’re making me crazy!
Robbie slept through the night tonight! What a perfect little doll! John and I went to her room and watched her sleeping—it was so unusual not to have the normal crying fits. Not that I’m complaining.
Robbie is one month old today. Today she is to be baptized. Father God, she is so beautiful—so frail and delicate. This child is such a tremendous responsibility. I am amazed every time I look into her eyes and see the trust. Lord, help me to be worthy of that trust. Help John and I know how to teach her to walk in your ways. And most of all, Lord, thank you. Bless you for sending us the gift of our daughter. What an awesome word—our daughter.
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