The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/15/05
Good descriptions. I had to read it twice to make sure I got it all. Good start to something that could be a longer story.
Very intriguing.
I like your title and I also like the tie into the scripture at the conclusion. I agree with you critique above, this could be a longer story, it's end came too soon for me. Well written
08/19/05
I liked the way you drew us into the story without giving it all away in the beginning. I agree with longer story. Great Job!
Facinating story. I'm not sure I understand everything that happened, I would love to read more!
08/20/05
You have a good story here. If you write in active voice instead of passive, you would have a great story. PM me if I can help:)
08/21/05
Re: previous post - I'm just learning myself and may not know what I'm talking about. I'll send you a PM soon:)