The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 723 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/09
What an amazingly beautiful entry. You wrapped it all up as tightly as Jake's resolve to hold to his beloved's memory.
Thank you for sharing this delightful story.
So touching!
08/20/09
Beautiful, sweet and touching.
Your story is very descriptive. I liked the phrase "The winter wind had painted roses on her cheeks" and I enjoyed the image of Jake's spirit and Edna's ashes dancing in the snowflakes. Nicely done.
08/22/09
Man, if this is not the winner, the I'm not here. Perfect story. Great visuals. A little repitition in there but the power of the writing easily hides the word wastage.
Expand it and make it a little leaner and I'm sure you'd sell this piece easilty
08/22/09
Magical story skillfully told!
08/24/09
'For a moment Jake’s spirit swirled and danced in the snowflakes with Edna’s mortal remains dancing beside him.' !!
This is beautiful, it made me immensly happy for Jake.
I truly enjoyed your piece. Well done!
08/24/09
I like your title in relation to what is describes in this winter story. Your last descriptive paragraph was exceptional. I like your creative out-of-the box approach!
08/24/09
You have a knack for pulling heartstrings; this story is evidence of it. Homeless people are something I can never get used to. The Myrtle Beach box was a nice touch.
Mona
I liked very much the visuals you painted in your story, as well as the hopeful ending.
08/25/09
Wow! this piece is pregnant with interest and description - absolutely loved it. Thanks
08/25/09
Oh wow, I love this one. Excellent descriptions, and it carries an emotional impact. Super job!
08/25/09
What a sad, yet beautifully told tale. Some great images; the dance of the spirit and ashes was WAY memorable. There were a few speed bumps here and there that can easily be cleaned up, but the story telling and imagery are excellent. You cannot teach that. I hope you keep writing. I would like to read more. You're going to be very good at this. God bless.
08/26/09
Wow! Amazing, story and written so perfectly. Very touching story.
08/26/09
Absolutely beautiful!! It brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderfully precious story of true love. The last paragraph was incredible...great imagery and word choices. Excellent job!
08/27/09
Oh I am SO glad this piece won first place! A heart felt congratulations to you on a very well deserved win! This story was so touching and beautiful and very well written. I am thrilled for you! Great job!!!
08/27/09
Congratulations, Cathy!! Well deserved. :) Keep writing!
08/27/09
Congratulations Cathy! Like I said, You're good at this. Keep up the good work.
God bless.
08/28/09
WOW! Am I ever surprised! Thank you all for such encouraging comments.
Just had a chance to read this today. I'm so pleased it placed so high. I really enjoy your writings and like the others have said...keep it up and see you in Masters soon, I'm sure. Loren