The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/06/09
Before anyone says it, I realized I should've spelled the MC's name Randi not y.
Your story has definite potential--you have a way with words! ("it's official, God's weird".) I like the dialogue. It feels quite real. I did get lost a couple of times tho'; I think it would help to have a space between each change of speaker. Aunt Randy apparently comes to a place at the end where she welcomes Roger. I would've liked to have seen her internal processing there. (And I don't think it matters that her name is with a "y".:-)) Keep writing!
08/06/09
I have to agree;Separating the dialogue would make it easier to read but I was able to follow along nicely.
Aunt Randy makes a major shift at the end that would work better if her reasons were made known to the reader. with the word limit that is a challenge. what could you eliminate earlier to give more room to the end?
J seems like a wise young man.

The story has a good message as we can probably all relate to God's 'weirdness" from time to time ;)
keep writing!
08/07/09
Tell you what, I'll finish writing the story and send it to you both. I'm not sure I'm happy with the ending either.
08/12/09
Great take on the topic and excellent voice.
Great story here with loads of potential. I also got a bit confused at first,but heh its a great story and worth reading!
11/12/09
I really enjoy your writing and your stories. I think you have huge potential!