ďYouíre an adult now.Ē
They keep telling me that.
I suppose I am. Iíve passed the milestone age where one is legally allowed to make really dumb choices. Only one to go and the whole world of potential blunders will be open to me!
What makes an adult? Time, immaterial as it is, passes persons from one year to the next like a teacher who does not care. A lot of ďkidsĒ my age think they are adults, but they should have been held back. Iíve seen this especially in the assortment of co-workers in my last job. I hope they learn to listen again.
I cannot go to college right now. Still at home, I study and work. Iím giving it all Iíve got, or at least I try to check myself frequently to see if I am actually doing my best. Jesus help me. I canít do anything without Him.
I wanted to be in college; not at home or at my last job. I did not even choose the job; it was the one that was convenient.
Sometimes you have no choice as to what you are going to do, only how you are going to do it. Remember the story of Joseph in prison?
I would love to have written this at a spiritual crest and say that I am not scared, uneasy, or discontented. I thank God, though, that along the way, time has not been my only teacher. I have been held back. This world is daunting; my Savior and I are fighting back my default operation.
Of course I want it to feel good. I tell God sometimes, ďI really donít like what I am looking at here.Ē He says, ďWhy are you looking?Ē
My eye, my ear, my heart and my mindís eye (the one that holds a mirror to the past to predict the future) are all giving me bad reports, especially now. I know I need to walk by faith, even when desirable results can seemingly be obtained by spiritual fudge-i-fication.
I want perfection. What business do I have aiming for anything else? I donít want Jesus disappointed with me. Oh, broken and miserable defeat! Oh, pathetic waste of life!
Please pray for the rising generation of Christians: the ones who have crossed from being the oldest possible child to the youngest possible adult.
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