The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/09/05
I like this a lot. It has great potential but seems unfinished. There are a few problems that could be solved with proofreading. Also, why start out rhyming and then change? This piece is powerful and I don't think it needs the rhyme. :)
08/10/05
I so like the thought process here. Please expand upon it.
08/11/05
Thanks for posting.
Interesting thoughts, but like Crista felt that it was unfinished. Would like to know more about where you were going with this. It has the potential to be a powerful piece of writing. Thanks for sharing.