The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/28/09
This would make a good episode of a television show!

It's easier to read if you put a space between each paragraph, even the very short ones. The ending seemed just a little bit too "wrapped up" to me.

Bless our law enforcement personnel!
06/01/09
Riveting and fast-paced action and dialogue! I'd watch this one. (: