Light switch on.
...Lord, I am again praying for my friend who is struggling with sin. The role I am playing in this Lord, is new to me. I am usually the needy one asking for prayer; relaying on otherís wisdom. Now Lord, it feels like you have put me here in this new role to teach me as well. I feel honored Lord. Help me to stay quiet when I need to and to speak up when I need to. Lord, help me to show love and compassion for her as You would do. Lord, I am so concerned for her and her whole family. You know what is going on Lord and how strong a pull Satan seems to have on her.
Dimmer switch moves left...
She is not the person I thought I knew at all. She is a wife and mom. Now she just wants to chuck everything for this other person she thinks she loves? If she thinks her relationship is not so good with her daughter now, just wait. She is treading in dangerous water. I am angry. She's been a Christian as long as me. She is acting so irresponsibly, like a giddy teenager. I just have to pray more and find more heart piercing scripture. I need to...I...
Light switch off.
No unemployment check in the mail again? I hope the electricity isn't turned off. I was supposed to pay that bill last Friday. Look at all these dishes in the sink... I'll never get this dishwasher fixed until I'm caught up with the rent. I'll bet she is enjoying her new kitchen with all the beautiful new appliances. She's probably never off the computer enough to appreciate it. I had to hear about that remodel everyday and then at the same time her extra-curricular activity. My husband is laid off. Her husband got recruited for a new job with a big increase in salary. Then she had the nerve to bring the dress "her boyfriend" and her bought on their rendezvous to show me at work; a size eight on top of that! My job? Who knows come September with all these teachers pink-slipped. She gets a 40 hour job handed to her while she is in the depths of an extra-marital affair! How Lord does she receive all these blessings when I am the one in obedience?
Flash of Light (as I am washing the last of the umpteenth dish piled up to dry).
..."This is your dark and light story. You need to write about you; YOUR OWN DARKNESS"
"Oh Jesus...when you convict a heart...Yes, this is a dark, sinful place I am in; anger, bitterness, jealousy, pride; as the tears trip into the dishwater.
Dimmer switch begins moving back to the right.
Oh Lord, forgive me. I have taken my eyes off of you and placed them on myself. Satan has moved into my heart just as much as my friend. This has nothing to do with me and what I can do. Lord, you are the One who saves, who forgives, who convicts, who heals. Lord, this is her story, not mine. You are allowing this in her life now for a reason and my job is to just pray, be a loving friend and encourage, not to judge and compare. How can I interfere in what Your plan is? Just as I have had a wandering from you and a restoration, Lord this is what she must learn for herself as well.
The Light returns...
Thank you Jesus for revealing my dark, ugly side. Lord, continue to convict me in my thoughts for you hear them as well. Lord, you have always continued to take care of us and I have learned through much sacrifice, to have a humble spirit. I guess sometimes when we leave a little opening, sin will creep its way back in. Please Lord, continue to press upon me Your will and remove from me those things that are unpleasing in your sight. I know you use broken pots and I am definitely one of them. May this broken pot, continue to be mended and made stronger by your Word and may I continue to be used as your humble servant. I love my friend and her family. I want her happiness. I pray she will call on You for strength to turn her from sin and that through all things Your name will be glorified. Amen.
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