The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 430 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/21/09
I like the idea of both a physical and a spritual makeover.

Exclamation points should be used very rarely, and almost never in narrative. They're best reserved for use in dialogue. Choose strong words instead. When writing in first person, as much as possible find ways to begine sentences with words other than 'I'.

I really felt as if I knew this narrator by the time I'd finished the story--good job with that!

05/22/09
A timely piece since most of us desire to look better, but what we really need is to be made over on the inside as you pointed out. Good job.