The Official Writing Challenge
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04/30/09
Wow. Horrible, powerful and amazing. I loved it, sad as it was, becasue I could see this woman, and the poor man struggling to be loved and wanted. It was awesome, props to you!
05/05/09
The writing is very good, even though this story tore my heart out! I don't think I could EVER peel my sobbing child from my body and walk off and leave her in that home! I was mad at BOTH of them because the child got the short end of the stick.
What a sad story you presented with an excellent contrast between a soft-hearted and hard-hearted parent. I was a bit confused by the two funeral arrangements since one of the boys lived.
05/06/09
What a sad story! I'm so glad for your dad's softness to offset mom's hardness. Obviously his prayer was answered! Thanks for sharing this.
05/06/09
Good application of the topic into a great story with a 2sx (hee--my dog "helped" me with writing that...I'll leave her contribution! :-)) anyway, with a terrific message. Well done!
05/06/09
Such a sad situation, but wow - the power of a father's love! What a dad! As for the writing, I was confused in a couple of places and it could be polished a bit but the heart of it shone through. Thanks for opening up and sharing your story.
Nice writing conveying the powerful love of two fathers...one earthly the other Heavenly. Nice job.
The mom made me mad.(That's a good thing, you evoked emotion in a reader.) She is indeed hard.

I got a little confused about the twins. I thought only one died, but there was a funeral being planned for two? It could just be me.

Over all, this was a provocative read. Nicely done.
What a sad story, but through it you were able to show the two sides of two very different people very, very well. The reader could sense the father's love for his Liz and his caring for his wife; while at the same time easily see his wife's selfish character. Good writing, well done!
This story kept my interest and made me want to read one. It evoked many emotions...good writing.

I was a tad confused in a few places.

Good (but sad!) story.
05/06/09
You've touched hearts with a lot of emotion here. I guess I would have liked the father a lot more had he stuck it out and not left this beautiful child with her wicked mother. Good writing!