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There’s something strange about names that begin and end with the same letter thought Xoxo. He knew that his affections for Zaz were sincere but he also knew she was missing more than just a letter. Simply spelling her name Zazz would hardly suffice. Nor, come to think of it, was she merely lacking that certain something that her mother Pizazz had in spades. Zaz’ dads were Siamese twins from Thailand and no one could ever accuse them of holding back anything from their daughter. They positively doted over her. Sometimes Zaz’ dates would honk the car instead of coming to the door because her dads’ doting made them uncomfortable. It wasn’t that her dads were twins that disconcerted her dates because she only dated twins. Zaz, afterall, wanted to marry people just like her dear dads. Zaz’ dads weren’t old. In fact, Zig and Zag were just a few years older than she. They weren’t her actual birthfathers. She didn’t even know who her real father(s) was but she was highly suspicious of Xoxo. It’s true, he was old enough to be her father but anyone who really knew Xoxo well knew that Pizazz was never his thing. Xoxo only really even took an interest in Zaz because she reminded him of his fraternal twin sister Oxox when they were young. Oxox wasn’t heavy but she was Xoxo’s sister so he felt something of an obligation to look after her when their parents ran away. It wasn’t long before their mother was found camouflaging herself against a tic-tac-toe game. She was more or less incoherent and mumbled something about her husband’s having been erased. This was less than convincing given that Xoxo and Oxox’ dad had disappeared so many times before. It was quite likely that this time he would resurface in an entirely new guise and game that suited no one and yet everyone in particular. Their dad had wanted to name the children Xox and Oxo but their mother would have none of it. Many fights resulted from what to many would seem such a small thing. Their mother, who was never given a name at all, knew acutely how debilitating vowel or consonant-deprivation could be and was always committed to seeing that her children were well provided for. No child of hers would be left to the kind of blind existence she had led. When she caught their father trying to erase the last letters on her children’s birth certificates, she threatened to leave him for other men. He said that she could be his guest. When she did, she didn’t realize that she Zigged when she should have Zagged and wound up with triplets. Zigged was the type who’s reputation always preceded him. He could come unglued at the slightest annoyance. If he even thought he saw Zagged look cross-eyed at a gal, he would pour on the charm so hard that she wouldn’t know what hit her. This was exactly the situation with Xoxo and Oxox’ mother that created such confusion. It was much the same with Pizazz. Pizazz only tied the knot with Zig and Zag because she decided she would never again go with the kinds of sugardaddies that so captured her fancy yet always cramped her style. Still, they reminded her enough of their respective fathers that she figured what the heck.
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