“Hello everybody and welcome to over-comers group of First Baptist Church my name is Angelica Ross but my friends call me Angie. This is Jewel at my right and Jewel will start the ball rolling.”
Jewel bounded to her feet with a smile that lit up any room and love seemed to emanate from every part of her body. Jewel looked down at me with such understanding and compassion that I was not afraid of what came next.
“Ladies I would like to introduce you to Polly Nixon from the House of Lost Souls. Most of us know all about that wonderful place because some of us have lived there at one time or another,” said Jewel.
I slowly got to my feet and nervously looked around the table than lowered my eyes so they could not see my tears.
“Hello everybody my name is Polly Nixon from House of Lost Souls and Jewel invited me to share my life with you and find new friends,” I quietly said.
The person sitting next to me got up and introduced herself and one by one, each rose, said their name, and sat down. Finally, Angie asked if anyone would like to share her feelings. That night I found out that I was not alone nor was I the only one whose husband had left them. We spoke openly and honestly about our lives and I found that so refreshing. We laughed and cried that first night and at the end of the meeting, I felt as if I had found a place that I could be me and not fear recrimination.
I sat in my room and read from my journal how I felt when I arrived at House of Lost Souls.
July 1 2008
I feel as if troubles, anxieties and problems that arise in my life will never end. I do not like confrontation and I will do all I can to avoid it. I’m impulsive and sometimes act without giving any thought to the outcome of my actions. Reining in my emotions is not an easy task and if I don’t consider the ramifications of my actions, people get hurt. One moment I am up and the next my heart is down in my shoes. Sometimes I am like a run away freight train and I like that train suffer ugly painful wrecks. My life is a mess.
A year has past since the House of Lost Souls has been my home and I am the official greeter to all newcomers. I greet them with open arms and make them feel welcome.
“Ladies welcome to House of Lost Souls over-comers group. My name is Polly and we’ve been where you are. This is Jewel and tonight after the meeting, we will study Ecclesiastes written by King Solomon. Solomon’s wisdom teaches us and gives us counsel. I think you will find Ecclesiastes interesting to say the least. Once the introductions are over, we can get started. I would like to read the poem that hangs in the entrance of your new home. Only God knows who wrote it,” I said.
“Seesaws of Life”
Sometimes I am up.
Sometimes I am down.
Sometimes I frown.
Sometimes I only look at the ground.
At times, it all depends on how I feel.
Sometimes life seems so surreal.
Sometimes my emotions cause untold grief.
However, when I call on Jesus I find relief.
Whether I have plenty or whether I’m scraping the bottom of the pot.
I know in my heart of hearts that I have enough to hit the spot.
Whether I’m dressed to the nines or whether I have rags on my back.
I know I can stand on God’s promises and will not suffer lack.
Whether I go up to the heavens or whether I go deep underground
I know that with the power of my Jesus I shall always be found.
Whether I am here or whether I am in outer space somewhere
I shall always remain in my Jesus’ loving care.
After the meeting, I made my way to my room. I found my Bible and turned to Psalms 118:1-29. Thanks Jesus for Your unchanging love.
“Lord, thanks for everything because Luke 10:19-20 tells me I have authority to over come the power of the enemy and my name is written in heaven. Blessed is Your Holy name,” I said.
For the first time in my life I was free and turned out the light.
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