The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/20/09
Very sweet relationship between the grandpa and the grandson.

Some of the dialogue didn't seem entirely realistic, and I needed to feel as if I knew them better--perhpas more action or description.

Grandparents are precious--I'm glad you wrote this!










I liked the relationship between the child and his grandfather, also the lesson he was taught. Well done
03/26/09
I liked this and thought you did well. I'd recommend switching the sentence order in the opening paragraph to avoid starting with dialogue on this one. Nicely done. I enjoyed it.