The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Interesting story. You kept my attention from start to finish. Well done.
I especially liked the emotional content of the first half of this story.

Be careful of comma splices and the correct use of semicolons.

All of us who have lost a loved one have shared these feelings!
I would have traded the names of the siblings for more description at the end. Good story with powerful emotions.
Great opening paragraph. Second paragraph seemed to contradict itself internally. The third paragraph holds a huge point and good thought and then things seem to unravel a little bit in the writing. Overall, I like the pacing, but I think you will find several edits simply by reading this article to yourself aloud. I hope to read more from you here.