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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Kingdom of God (03/12/09)

TITLE: They Call Him Jesus
By Deborah Ann Belka


The door flew open and, like a mighty wind, Nathan’s words erupted. “Did you hear the good news?”

“What news, Nathan.” His wife, Bethany, asked him as she ran to his side.

“There is a man saying that, ‘The Kingdom of God is at hand’.”

“Who is this man?’ she asked with great anticipation.

“They call him, Jesus.”

“What is Jesus, saying about the Kingdom of God?”

“He is saying that we must repent of our sins and to believe in the gospel.”

“When will the Kingdom of God come?

Nathan bowed his head and sorrowfully responded, “He did not say.” Then he began to weep bitterly.

He wept because he did not know when God would come and deliver his family from the evilness that surrounded them.

“When, God, when?” He cried out.

He remembered what the prophet, Daniel, said about how the Son of Man would come with the clouds of Heaven. That He would setup His Kingdom, where all the nations, and all the people would serve and obey Him.

Nathan wanted that now!

He was tired of all the sin in the world. The deceit in which his government ran his country. How greed was their obsession and tolerance was their passion.

His heart was tortured by the unfaithfulness of the people and the lack of Godly morals. The offensive and vulgar displays of some of the men and women in the houses and buildings that ran up and down the streets, crushed his spirit.

He was heartbroken by the worship of gods made of the finest wood, covered in the purest form of gold. How the pagan’s considered that faith was an easy grace and self-indulgent was their liberator. That they did want to hear about sin or God’s judgments.

He was tormented by the disagreements and jealousies, which flowed like hot lava, in the veins of his countrymen. How their pride embattled the earth with wars that would never bring peace.

He was tired of all the drunken festivities that took place night and day in the town square. He could not even send his son to the well for water, for fear that he would be harmed by the crazed mobs that roamed the streets and littered the alleys.

He wanted to take his family and run as fast as he could to the land of his Living God.

He was worn out and tired. Overwhelmed by the burdens of his heart. He needed to find this man, named Jesus. Turning to his wife and children, he informed them.

“I must go and find out more about the gospel that Jesus talked about. I must find out about His Kingdom and when we can expect it. I will return when I have answers.”

He found Jesus on a mountaintop and followed him for days. When he returned home, he shared with his family all that he had learned.

He told them about the faithful and the unfaithful servants. That if they knew the will of God, they needed to take heed and obey it.

He told them about the laborers in the vineyard. That the first shall be last and the last first. How that many are called but, few are chosen to dwell with Him in His Kingdom.

He told them about the steward and the talent. That God is the source of all of their gifts and talents. How they were to be wise custodians for He had entrusted them with these treasures.

He told them about the loss of things and the prodigal son. How God’s Kingdoms principles were about mercy, forgiveness, steadfast love, and kindness.

He shared with them about the unforgiving servant. How they needed to forgive others, even as their Heavenly Father forgives them.

He told them about the wicked husbandmen. That those who reject Jesus will not share His Kingdom with Him.

He told them that the Kingdoms fruits were love, joy, peace, faithfulness, and goodness. How they needed to implant them into their hearts and minds.

He told them about the ten virgins and how they must be ready at all times for the coming of the Lord. For no one knows the day or the hour of His return.

When he was finished, they all made a commitment to follow Jesus, and to go out on the streets and into the alleys sharing the good news with others. Inviting all, to become partakers of the inheritance of His Kingdom.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Norma-Anne Hough03/19/09
Wow you certainly packed a lot into your little piece. Well done, I liked your main character and his love for his family.
Judy Meyers03/21/09
You definitely told about the Kingdom of God. Good piece
Jan Ackerson 03/21/09
Very creative way to incorporate the parables into a story.

Be careful of unnecessary commas.

I very much enjoy Biblical fiction--thanks for this story.
TJ Nickel03/26/09
You were very on topic and had a lot of great material. The reading was a bit difficult due to the use of repetitive words (how and that) in ways that felt as if they created fragmented sentences and a lack of flow. It seemed this had a lot of promise, but could have used a day away and then some editing on the good material you used.