The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/21/09
Nicely done. Was looking for more hope at the end.
03/21/09
I would have like to know who the person was. I got the picture but wanted a solution
03/21/09
You did a good job of communicating the despair that many young people feel.

The meter was a bit rough--perhaps that was intentional?

Some very good imagery and word choices--well done.
03/26/09
Liked the voice in this entry. Felt the pacing and structure was an issue that might have been improved with a bit more time editing. Good entry.