The Official Writing Challenge
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Poignant poem. Well done.
03/12/09
This very current event has slipped by most of us. What a terrible tragedy on top of an already terrible tragedy.
You were able to use a poetic insight into a terrible situation that made it impossible not to be moved. I especially liked the way you wove the word hope into the poem...sometimes we forget that hope is universal and can come in the most seemingly insignificant ways - but it is still what encourages us. Great job!
03/12/09
This was certainly a moving piece. It is terrible that so many people should be denied help from those that would give it freely.

As a poem it isn't a very good idea to treat a word as though it rhymes with itself, or if you want to, use that method throughout the piece. That said I did like the rest of your repetition and your in-character vocabulary.

03/12/09
Wow, very poignant and well-written. Although you were referring to one particular time in Sudan, you touched on several issues relevant to other times and places. Well done!
I really enjoyed your poem. I liked how each stanza built to the end. I was so hopeful for the father, and then so disappointed, as they must have been, when the clinic was closed. Thank you for bringing this recent history to light in such a poignant way.
Wow! This is a sad, sad piece. You note at the end is even more sad. Thank you for writing this. It is terrible the horrors so many must live through.
03/15/09
I'm afraid the horror of the facts of this entry have just begun. Your piece is relevant, current and creative. Good job!
Congratulations on your first place win! well deserved.