The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 744 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/06/09
It is amazing how the word FIRE catches one's attention. This is the only title that caught my attention. The story was interesting, with it's hectic, anxiety packed pace. I'm not quite sure how well it fits with the topic, especially since ships are not considered part of the country in which they are berthed. At least the people got to tour Japan in the last but one section.
By the way, don't forget to read some of the other stories in Intermediates and leave feedback. Let's all help one another
Interesting read. Fire does get ones attention. Loved the ending but then again I am a romantic. Good job.
03/06/09
Stories from real life are my favorites. Good job!
03/09/09
What a great read. I admit the title with the word FIRE in it drew me into this story also. I loved how easily the story flowed from one person to the next.
03/09/09
It's refreshing when a news story ends up with a good ending. Keep up the good work!
Very good. I can't imagine the anxiety that comes to loved ones who wait to hear of the safety of their family member.
There were a couple minor spelling errors. You may already do this, but reading it aloud may help you catch those little typos.

Again, great story.
I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I can well imagine the panic that would have spread through the family as they waited anxiously, and the joy of good news and eventual reuniting.
You definitely have a talent for chronicling events and creating suspense. For me, and this is only my opinion, I would have liked to have seen the story distilled down to only one or two events and characters. This would have given the author time to flesh out more of the story and the people involved (which the writer certainly displays an ability to do) while creating an emotional attachment to them.
03/15/09
Wow, what a story! The wait to hear the news must have been so difficult! This is a story to tell for generations!