Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Asia (02/26/09)
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TITLE: The Performers | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth Ann Moore
03/01/09 -
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“Come now, comrade,” smoothed Pavlov, busily grooming himself for the coming show. “You know you love this job. You’re a star!” he crooned, trying to lessen the ire of his friend. “Think of all the benefits!”
“Benefits!” gasped Brutus, rising and beginning to pace. “Are you crazy? What benefits? We do our act, get laughed at, yelled at, and all for what? Peanuts?”
“No, that’s the Elephants!” quipped Pavlov, laughing at his own joke while adjusting his hat. “But honestly Brutus, you’re needed out there! You have rare talents, and don’t forget the ladies!” He goaded, elbowing his compatriot in the ribs.
“With all their screaming and hysterics? They are hardly my type!” Brutus walked to the far side of the wing and peeked through the curtain, shaking his head in disgust.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You always get a reaction from them, and make the crowd go wild with riotous laughter. Why so sour now?” Pavlov rose to practice a few of his moves in the open space. “Now, don’t you remember that girl in Leningrad? She near fainted away when you showed her your full smile.”
“Remember? How could I forget?” Brutus returned to join his friend; sitting on the floor he covered his face in shame. “Master Roman nearly had my hide for that one! If I even so much as raise my lip, he’s on top of me; yanking my chain.”
“Come now, it’s not as bad as all that?”
“Not that bad?” Brutus’ incredulous face shot up. “It made me want to take up hibernation!”
“Hey!” Pavlov interjected tersely, stopping his pirouette mid-turn to address his friend. “You’re no sissy who needs to sleep half his life away.”
“You’re joking, right? Have you looked at these costumes we wear?” Brutus started pulling at his clothes, “These collars pinch, the vests are tight, and let’s not even talk about the tutus.”
“You brought it up, not me.” Pavlov walked back to the mirror to adjust his collar.
“We look like a bunch of clowns,” Brutus whined, head was downcast.
“Very powerful clowns, comrade.” Pavlov flexed to prove his point. “But you should be careful what you say; you don’t want Bim Bom or Yuri to think we are trying to take their jobs!” He admonished sternly.
Brutus expelled a defeated breath, staring into space. “What I’d give to be out roaming the hills and forests, or to go fishing on the Kamchatka Peninsula.” Brutus’ eyes took a far away look. “Ah, the simple life,” he said wistfully, “when one is free to do as he wishes.”
“And free to get shot by the nearest hunter.” Pavlov muttered under his breath, finally fed up with Brutus’ rant. “The way I see it Brutus, you have two choices. You can either accept that you have a good job, a roof over your head, three square meals a day, adoring fans, and great co-workers.” Pavlov tipped his hat forward and flashed his best grin. “Otherwise, you may well find yourself on the floor in front of someone else’s fire or hanging in their closet. You choose.” Pavlov headed for the curtain, head held high. “But for right now, let’s get out there and give these guests the best performance they have ever seen. Do you understand?”
Brutus reluctantly got up from his sulking position on the floor, put on his best smile, being careful not to show his teeth, and joined his friend.
“Da.”
The two bears toddled out in to the main ring of the Moscow Circus, and were greeted by Ring Master Roman and the rousing cheers of hysterical, screaming women, to deliver their best performance ever.
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“Da” means “yes” in Russian.
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Enjoyable entry.
Well done.
I also enjoyed the personification of the animals, great job in capturing their emotions. I think I would have liked to have known their true self a little earlier on, however. But that is just a personal preference and has nothing to do with your writing style or your story.