The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/27/09
Lots of beautiful atmosphere in this story!

I was a little bit confused, the first time through, by the switch in POV from Sylvia to Lydia. I had to work on who was who.

I really like the peaceful feeling of your entry.
Nice relaxed story. Could almost be there myself.
Very nice portrait of Portugal. Good job. :)
03/01/09
Very lovely, descriptive sentences in this story. Quite enjoyable to read.
I liked the reminiscent aspect of the story tied to close family relationships. It added a real sense of warmth and belonging to the reading.
03/03/09
I also greatly enjoyed your descriptive sentences...this is a real strength for you, and it truly brings the reader into your setting. Well done here. As for organizing pov, I believe your practice will eventually make perfect! Well done.
I enjoyed the serene setting and the antics of the birds. I wanted very much to be the one sitting on the porch enjoying the view and the calm of the day.
Lots of excellent descriptions in this piece. Thanks for sharing!
03/04/09
Yes, you have already heard about the good descriptions. I agree... but this is far more than that. I see this as almost being the peaceful ramblings of two people, one setting looking at the beach and the other simply remembering it because of the letter. The peace was more descriptive than the descriptions.

Very impressive writing.