The Official Writing Challenge
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Very good descriptions. I liked how you showed the MC's struggle for freedom and revelations.
01/22/09
It's difficult to know how to handle situations like this when visiting another culture. It certainly brings a new perspective of what's normal and acceptable and desirable. Your descriptions were great, I felt like I was there.
01/23/09
The first part of this is wonderfully described and extremely compelling. I wasn't entirely clear on what the lesson you learned was, nor on how it related to the situation.

This is some very excellent writing!
I liked this one! I agree that it was very compelling at the start. It drew the reader in. There were some sentences that were a little long and the ending was kind of ambiguous. The details were great!
01/24/09
My, my your use of language is at times confusing but interesting. I'm sure it is your style so I cannot by any means critique that. I agree with the previous viewers that the ending with your revelation was not all that clear. Keep writing.
I personally liked the language and the conclusions drawn at the end as to where real freedom lies.

However, coming from the UK, your word pee made me assume the MC was a man, which put all sorts of different pictures in my mind for the first encounter.
01/25/09
Good descriptions. There were a few missing apostrophes that put me off my stride - the babe's father etc.