The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/15/09
Very good writing, and I especially liked the first five paragraphs.

Be careful of wanting to tie everything up neatly, even with the short word count. It might be more effective to end with Eddie standing at the door of the mission, getting up the nerve to go in, for example.

I only say this because you're an excellent writer, and little tweaks like that can bump your writing to the next level.
You brought me to tears! Very descriptive writing and you got the reader into his head. Excellent!
Great article, I wish everyone who is addicted to alcohol would confess and do as the hero in your story.
Janice85