The Official Writing Challenge
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Well expressed message. Stayed true to chosen form. Nice job. :)
11/30/08
This is gentle but poignant. I thought the language in the last verse was a little simpler than in the rest of your poem and that you lost a little of your poetic force as a result. But even so a satisfying read.
Study some of the other poems particularly in Advanced and Masters to pick up some hints and tips on how to polish your work.