Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Home for Christmas (11/20/08)

TITLE: "Can't Be Forgotten"
By CJ Raney
11/26/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Thomas couldn’t wait to get home from work. He loved his job, but the highlight of his day was spending the evening with his wife of two years, Lydia. Thomas walked in the door to find a candle lit dinner on the table.

“Hi, Honey. How was work?” Lydia asked as she came out of the kitchen with a plate of garlic bread.

Thomas kissed her on the cheek. “It was good. I finally got my reports turned in for the year-end project. This new Junior Executive position has been a challenge.” Thomas placed his briefcase and jacket on the couch. “What’s the special occasion? Did you get your promotion?”

“No, something even better, come sit down.”

Thomas prayed for their meal. “Okay, I can’t stand it any longer. What’s going on?”

“Do you remember me telling you I had a doctor’s appointment this morning?”

“Yes, what did he say?”

“Well, we’re going to have some great news for your parents at Christmas dinner.”

“You’re pregnant?!”

Lydia smiled at Thomas as he got up to hug her. He was thrilled. Everything was perfect. His life was just as he had imagined. He had a wonderful wife, stable job, and now, they were starting a family.

On Christmas day, Thomas and Lydia went to his parent’s home. They couldn’t wait to see Mom and Dad’s reaction, when they heard about the baby. Everyone sat at the table and held hands as Dad prayed. They were enjoying their meal when Lydia reached over and patted Thomas on the arm. He looked up at her, and she nodded her head.

“Mom and Dad, we have some fantastic news!” Thomas said enthusiastically.

Dad started to cough, “Is that smoke I smell?”

***
Thomas awoke with a smile that quickly faded. As tears fell down his face, he shivered. “At least I can still see them in my dreams.” He lifted the flap on the cardboard box he had slept in last night. “I can’t believe it’s been a year since I lost my family in that awful fire.”

Thomas climbed out of the box and looked down the alley, where he saw the other homeless men building a fire. He pulled his tattered coat tighter around his worn clothes and walked towards them. “Six months ago, I was released from the hospital and now I am here. Just a brief moment and my perfect life was gone.”

___________________
“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” James 4:14 (KJV)


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 313 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marlene Austin11/28/08
Compelling story, but I would have liked some details explaining MC's survival if everyone else died in the fire - without the details it seemed a little strange. :)
Joy Faire Stewart11/28/08
I enjoyed the dialogue between husband and wife tell of their joyous news for Christmas. Though the ending is sad, I like the unexpected in a story.
Gregory Kane11/30/08
A charming first scene, full of easy-going intimacy and satisfying dialogue. But I felt that your transition was too sudden, that it left far too many unanswered questions. An additional couple of paragraphs would have made all the difference.
This is one of the benefits of FW - the chance to let other people help each one of us improve our writing - as well as to be blessed and inspired as we read.