The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/18/05
Cute story! For more punch, let the reader know from the begining that Travis is only 8. I loved the last paragraph, "and finally mom opened the back door". Tee Hee.
Really cute story. I thought Roy would have been the eight-year old. So, it was really funny to find it was the other way round.
07/18/05
That was sooooo funny!
What a HOOT! I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for the laughter.
God bless ya, littlelight
Ha! That was great!
I enjoyed this story. I was surprised that the father was the scared one. Plus, I wanted to know what was crawling on his leg? Nice job.
07/19/05
This was really wonderfully funny! Nice job of keeping us thinking of a true wilderness experience shared by perhaps two college friends and then zap us with a reality check in the end. I've never met anyone (including adults) quite like Roy, but I have daughters who are very much like Travis. Great writing!
07/20/05
My husband & I enjoyed reading this out loud with a little drama. Adorably easy to laugh along with. I definitely think you did the story best by not revealing the ages until the end.
07/22/05
A fun story :)
07/24/05
Neat, funny story. Love the twist at the end! Generally well constructed apart from some spelling problems (it’s and through should be its and threw) Also watch out for repetition of non useful words like ‘just’ and the shift of point of view to Travis at the end.
07/24/05
Cute story, the POV shifts caused a lot of problems. Thanks for posting.