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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Snap (09/04/08)

TITLE: A Whale of a Tale
By Jennifer Wetter


“I am not CRAZY,” he insisted.

“No one ever said you were crazy Jonah,” I calmly replied.

“Perhaps you’re simply contemplating your psychosomatic perceptions or you’re conceding your consciousness into its own fractured reality,” I continued.

“Huh,” he blankly stared at me. “What about my intelligence and broken bones?”

Silently I wondered if my new patient was truly a few nuggets short of a Happy Meal or maybe a few nuts short of a hot fudge sundae. As I cautiously gazed around my surroundings I began to suspect I was the one without the nuggets or the bag of nuts. I was in the belly of a fish….a BIG FISH….a VERY BIG FISH.

Jonah sneered, “Yes it’s a BIG FISH…perhaps maybe we could even call it a VERY BIG FISH.”

Hmmm…okay I’ve really lost it….of all the things I miss I have managed to misplace my mind and everything else that went was either around or inside it. Interesting thought though perhaps it might even explain the jiggling noise in my head.

My eyes gaily began wandering honestly in a vain attempt to “find” my mind but fortunately I didn’t have to gaze far because it was right where I left it.

“Who are you,” a crude voice interrupted my wandering eyes and thoughts. “Why are you here?”

I shrugged. “I am Dr. Ina Whale, MD. Honestly, I am not sure why I am here other than I was sent by a friend perhaps because you need a friend.”

“I’m Jonah and I am in a whale too,” he snapped.

My nostrils flared overwhelmed with the smell of fishy, smelly fish.

“Um...excuse me Mr. Jonah,” I kindly interrupted. “But it smells rather fishy in here.”

“Yes we’re in a rather big fish,” he sarcastically replied. “What exactly do you expect me do?”

“Well I thought that maybe you might have some,” I suggested, “air freshener with perhaps a more appealing scent such as raspberry or grape.”

“Do I look-like a saltwater convenience store to you,” he asked. “Why don’t you ask the Almighty upstairs I’m sure he’d love to help you?”

Interesting, I thought as I began jotting some observational notes in my journal about this man’s commonplace contentious and callous attitude toward his very Creator. His eyes echoed with such a sense of anguish and emptiness. For a moment I almost pitied him until that is...he opened his mouth.

“Lady or Dr. Whale whomever you are or whatever you prefer to be called,” he yelled. “Whatever it is WHY DON’T YOU JUST LEAVE. Why don’t you just go back to wherever you came from. I don’t need a friend and I certainly don’t want a friend especially a fruitball like you.”

“Actually the proper term is fruitcake,” I observed. “And well I can’t exactly go back the way I came. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while.”

He threw his hands up in the air. “It wasn’t bad enough forced me preach forgiveness to the Ninevehites, our country’s greatest enemies. I refused to go so I was swallowed by some giant fish and even worse I am stuck in this fish with a quack.”

I smiled, “Jonah, were you loved as a child?”

His eyes bulged, “What does a love have to do with my current dilemma?

Maybe if Jonah had been loved even more maybe he wouldn’t be such an angry adult.

“Well it just seems to be lack of love,” I stated, “seems to have everything to do with your current dilemma.”

“Do you realize how angry, arrogant, resentful and selfish you’re acting,” I observed. “How are you acting any different than of the Ninevehites whom you claim to be your enemy?”

He stuttered, “I am nothing like those egoistical, arrogant and selfish….” His mouth hung open as his own descriptions echoed my own observations.”

“Dear God I am truly,” he cried falling to his knees, “no better than those you’re offering forgiveness to. Forgive me Lord….I didn’t know.”

I smiled now that’s forgiveness at its finest, the same forgiveness I received so long ago as a teenager.

“Hey Lord,” I shouted to no one in particular. “How about some dinner because I think I’ve been dinner long enough?”

Apparently the VERY BIG FISH also had the same idea in mind…..UP and OUT.

Heaven does indeed have a sense of humor…after all have you heard the joke about Jonah, the whale and the shrink.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Judith Gayle Smith09/11/08
Fish story extraordinaire! I wonder if Jonah went back to his whale voluntarily because he had no pity for Nineveh nor the gourd? I love Dr. Inawhale! She had me laughing hard! What an imagination you have! Keep writing!
Marlene Austin09/12/08
Creative humor here. Quite SNAPPY dialogue. :)
Dee Yoder 09/13/08
Cute and humorous. I think you just told me a big fish story. (: