The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/11/08
Wow. Very nice entry. You have packed a lot of story into the word limit here. That's not easy to do! Great ending!
You have me weeping. This is heartbreakingly well written. If this is a true story - my heart is hugging yours. Thank God for the peace we have through the Christ...
Wow, this is well-written.
09/13/08
I liked this story but wondered if your title is a typo since I see no mention of a song or music. Good resolution. I think adding one more "snap out of it" after "she was always saying that" would've made the point stronger. Overall good storytelling.
09/14/08
A moving story. You wisely avoided making it seem that it is possible to 'snap out' of such overwhelming grief, while showing how there may indeed be a very sudden turning point leading to the road to recovery. Jesus enables us to be victors, not victims.
09/14/08
Excellent job on the characterization of Michael. The non-linear timeline confused me a bit--I had to read twice to get it all straight in my mind. Great ending!
Regrets are always sad. Great job of writing.
09/14/08
Such a bittersweet story...I loved the detail of the sea glass. Lovely.
09/15/08
Very touching story written very well. Great Job!
09/15/08
Well done! I was able to follow the story just fine. I agree that the dialogue could be stronger - there's a lot of descriptions vs. dialogue. Nice job. :)
This is a poignant and touching scene of life's lessons learned. In regard to the topic, the 'ah ha' moment is most fitting. I always enjoy your submissions and am so pleased to have you back.

Liz
This story is very well written and kept my attention the entire time. I loved the detail of the coconut shampoo. I would have liked to see Kit say "snap out of it" once more to make it stronger on the topic, but VERY GOOD JOB!
09/16/08
Well written! I was impressed by how you were able to capture a guy's point of view convincingly.
09/17/08
this is very well-written, and I love the message we're left with at the end.
09/17/08
Written like a scene right out of a romance movie. Good writing.
Good story! Well written. I could feel his heart pain as I read.
Very well written story. Great job.
So many great romantic pieces this week, and yours is right up there with the best of them. This one not only has romance but a powerful message as well. I loved the descriptions of Kit.

One of my favorites in the intermediate category this week.