The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/11/08
Wow. Very nice entry. You have packed a lot of story into the word limit here. That's not easy to do! Great ending!
09/11/08
You have me weeping. This is heartbreakingly well written. If this is a true story - my heart is hugging yours. Thank God for the peace we have through the Christ...
09/11/08
Wow, this is well-written.
09/13/08
I liked this story but wondered if your title is a typo since I see no mention of a song or music. Good resolution. I think adding one more "snap out of it" after "she was always saying that" would've made the point stronger. Overall good storytelling.
09/14/08
A moving story. You wisely avoided making it seem that it is possible to 'snap out' of such overwhelming grief, while showing how there may indeed be a very sudden turning point leading to the road to recovery. Jesus enables us to be victors, not victims.
09/14/08
Excellent job on the characterization of Michael. The non-linear timeline confused me a bit--I had to read twice to get it all straight in my mind. Great ending!
09/14/08
Regrets are always sad. Great job of writing.
09/14/08
Such a bittersweet story...I loved the detail of the sea glass. Lovely.
09/15/08
Very touching story written very well. Great Job!
09/15/08
Well done! I was able to follow the story just fine. I agree that the dialogue could be stronger - there's a lot of descriptions vs. dialogue. Nice job. :)
09/15/08
This is a poignant and touching scene of life's lessons learned. In regard to the topic, the 'ah ha' moment is most fitting. I always enjoy your submissions and am so pleased to have you back.

Liz
09/15/08
This story is very well written and kept my attention the entire time. I loved the detail of the coconut shampoo. I would have liked to see Kit say "snap out of it" once more to make it stronger on the topic, but VERY GOOD JOB!
09/16/08
Well written! I was impressed by how you were able to capture a guy's point of view convincingly.
09/17/08
this is very well-written, and I love the message we're left with at the end.
09/17/08
Written like a scene right out of a romance movie. Good writing.
09/17/08
Good story! Well written. I could feel his heart pain as I read.
09/17/08
Very well written story. Great job.
09/17/08
So many great romantic pieces this week, and yours is right up there with the best of them. This one not only has romance but a powerful message as well. I loved the descriptions of Kit.

One of my favorites in the intermediate category this week.