The Official Writing Challenge
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This was good. I like the way you left if open for the reader to think.
09/04/08
Good descriptions. Typ[cal childrens' behavior. You captured it well. Good job.
09/04/08
Very descriptive with authentic dialouge coming from the kids. Nice job.
09/04/08
I really like this piece. The setting reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books. I too like the ending although I'm not sure why the grandparents wouldn't let the kids come back.
09/04/08
I'm not sure the last sentence fits. It might if it was framed as a devotional with a third party sharing the tale to the reading audience. As it is I think the point of this self examination provides a compelling invitation for the reader to think about this as well. Very engaging tale!
Good writing; intriguing action. Personally, I would have preferred to read the ending as envisioned by the creator of the characters and setting - waiting to see if there was some unexpected turn which I might never have thought of. :)