The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 705 times
Member Comments
This was good. I like the way you left if open for the reader to think.
Good descriptions. Typ[cal childrens' behavior. You captured it well. Good job.
Very descriptive with authentic dialouge coming from the kids. Nice job.
I really like this piece. The setting reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books. I too like the ending although I'm not sure why the grandparents wouldn't let the kids come back.
I'm not sure the last sentence fits. It might if it was framed as a devotional with a third party sharing the tale to the reading audience. As it is I think the point of this self examination provides a compelling invitation for the reader to think about this as well. Very engaging tale!
Good writing; intriguing action. Personally, I would have preferred to read the ending as envisioned by the creator of the characters and setting - waiting to see if there was some unexpected turn which I might never have thought of. :)