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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Patience (08/21/08)

TITLE: She Hustles While She Waits
By joy clarkson


“Hurry up darling, give me a fresh towel.”

“In a minute Raj, here you are Honey.” She smiles and turns to go back to the kitchen, where an omelette was getting cooked in the pan…did she lower the heat? Better run!

“Mom! Are you listening, I can’t find my white socks….I told you not to tidy my room”
“Okay baby, I’ll remember. Your socks are in the second drawer on the left-hand side.” She said on the go, and was just in time to take the omelette out of the fry-pan before it burned and place it on a plate. Now for the filling, and she stretches her hand to pick up the grated cheese…..

“Sweetheart, where’s the blue tie, the one with the diagonal stripes?”… the cheese can wait, run baby run.
“It’s right here Raj, with all the ties.” She makes a dash for the doorway, “while you’re at it please keep a fresh handkerchief out too, Baby,” grinned her husband. “Sure Hon.” She takes out a hanky and makes good her escape.

Back in the kitchen...she moves like a whirlwind getting packed lunch and breakfast ready for the family. Omelette and hot buttered toasts for Raj, banana pancakes, cornflakes and milk for Kirit, lunch packets for both, green tea and a cheese- marmalade sandwich for herself….. “Darling, I’m running late today, could you hurry up and give me my breakfast,” said Raj as he sat down at the table and opened the newspaper.
“Hi Mom, can I skip cornflakes today?”
“What’s the big deal?”
“You’re a growing boy and you need proper nourishment. That’s the big deal.”
“Can I have an omelette too”
“But why not?”
“Just in case you have forgotten you have a working mom. That’s why.”
“So I don’t have the time to whip up an egg and...”
“Chill Mom, I don’t want an egg, I’ve had my cornflakes anyway,” laughs Kirit. She gives him a whack, which he dodges and runs off to the bus stop.

“Darling just listen to this.”
“I can’t sweetheart, I need to hurry too.”
“Babes, you’re going to end up getting sick, if you stress this way. Relax.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that Hon,” she zips off to change.
“Hey, you didn’t even kiss me,” she hears him calling out.
“If you can wait fifteen minutes you’ll get it,” she calls back. She hears the door close and the car start up. She’s dressed and dashes off to the stop where the office cab picks her up everyday. After a few minutes she realizes the cab isn’t coming…a quick call to the office confirms her worst fear…she’s late and has missed her cab by five minutes. Got to get a taxi, she thinks and begins to walk. The taxi stand is a good ten minute walk.

“You’re late Neera.”
“I’m sorry sir. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she smiles managing to be apologetic and charming!
“Hurry Neer, we have to be in the conference hall in ten minutes.”
“I’ll be right there, you get going,” she quickly brushed her hair checked her lipstick and picked up her laptop and a few notes she had scribbled on the way. As she walked to the conference hall she felt a nervous tension building up. She was to make a presentation for a very big company. It was a big deal and meant a lot for the company. Her mobile rings.
“Hi Sweets, forgot to tell you, we’ll be having guests over for dinner. Think of some nice Mughlai dishes, and let me know what you need, I’ll get it for you on the way back.”
“Yes Raj, but you should have told me earlier.”
“Sorry baby, you know how tied up I am with work. You’re great, you’ll manage.”

She’s at the door of the conference room, she pauses, takes a deep breath and says, “Here I am Lord. I give myself to you, what I am and what I’m not….take my ‘natural’ self and add your ‘Super’ to it…..I need it.” And she enters the room with a small smile on her face, exuding utter confidence and calmness, as one who is sure of victory.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/29/08
Whew, I'm exhausted just reading this! What a gal!

Even though you grouped your story into paragraphs of related action, you really need to separate each new line of dialogue into its own paragraph, even if it's only a word or two. New speaker: new paragraph.

I love the way the pacing of this reflected her frantic life, and it slowed down at the end, just as she did.
Patty Wysong08/31/08
Oh boy! What a morning/day/life! The pace of this adds to the story--I sure hope it's fiction and not fact! That poor woman!
Carole Robishaw 08/31/08
I was tired by the end, you puled me in, which is just what you're supposed to do. Good story.