The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1160 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/08
Very good, I didn't expect that ending at all. Good job!
I loved the suspense, nicely done!
A bit confusing at times, but love your way with words.
Lots of details about the scene, but IMHO, I would have rather had more detail about MC's "spy" character or actions to compare to Lt. Jefferies'. Good writing. :)
08/22/08
Beautifully written!
08/26/08
Great descriptions here, too bad you didn't have more words to expand some. Very good!!
I love the beautiful, smooth writing style. Excellent ending, too.
I enjoyed your story, especially the imagery and the suspense.
Excellent writing. Great sense of place, and the details were vivid. Well done.
08/27/08
I liked your title tie-in to Pilgrim's Progress. I could envision the King Rail and the heron with "rather than speaking to me, they seemed to speak about me." Then later "the faithful mosquito". Excellent creativity for the topic.
08/27/08
Though I got a bit confused here and there, you have a great command for detail, for making a picture come alive to your reader. Nice work. Blessings, Cheri
I think my confusion in some place just matched the character's - it all became more clear as it became more clear to him. Great writing!
08/27/08
This is extremely well-written, and your last line is perfect.
08/27/08
I was confused as to what was going on, but it became clear near the ending. I do fail to see the connection of a "charade" here, but that doesn't mean it was not on the topic. I just means that I didn't catch it...Nice read, though....Helen
08/27/08
Loved this from beginning to end.