The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/14/08
I love this little girl named Jazzy. I'm sure we all can relate to her heart pain. Nice job!
08/15/08
Any child would relate to this story. You painted an accurate picture of what every child goes through at least once in their tender lives. :)
08/17/08
Nicely done. I didn't want to be Jazzy, but, in some ways, I suppose we all were her at some point in our lives.
08/18/08
Ooh, the pain of sibling rivalry. Lots of emotion here, from both sisters. Good job!
08/18/08
I enjoyed this story and would only add that your writing could use a little more description. It isn't always necessary to run all the way up to the 750 word count but I think this story would have benefited somewhat from a degree of expansion.
08/20/08
Excellent job of getting into the head and heart of a child.