The Official Writing Challenge
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A great story! The imagery and descriptions made me feel like I was there. And the emotions, I truly felt her pride, curiousness, apprehension and fear.
This was a well-written story and I could feel all the emotion with it.
08/14/08
I really liked this piece and was trully worried Mamie would get crushed by grain. That goes to show it's good story telling because I'm pretty sure I know the MC is okay.
08/15/08
Well done. Lots of good visuals and sensations - sight, sound, - the dust motes, the kids chatter, the internal anxiety.
I could even smell the earthy, grainy, animal smell of the barn. A great impression of childhood's summer on the farm.
(Clerical detail: are Del and Will meant to be the same character?)
Great story...loved the "hidey-hole." Never heard that one before.

Great imagery. Great development of the child's thinking and various emotions, fear, smugness, pride of accomplishment, repentence...um...back to fear (!) and then joy at being rescued.

The story took me back 40 some years when we used to play hide-and-seek upstairs in the dark. I wedged myself between the mattress and box springs and had a similar experience...nobody could find me and eventually I was left alone to consider suffocation! I crawled out after everyone went downstairs and never did reveal my hiding spot (never repeated it either!)
This makes me want to read all the other articles you ever write! What a deliciously frightening experience! I was hiding in that barrell with her! Thank you for the emotional barrage!
08/19/08
Nice descriptions and attention to detail.
08/21/08
Congratulations on making the top 15!
08/24/08
Anita, welcome to the 500! I'm going to feature this nostalgic story on the Front Page Showcase for the week of September 29. Look for it on the FW Home page, and congratulations!
09/29/08
Great descriptions that took us there! And the lesson and the angst - your reader (me) could feel that too. Great piece.
09/30/08
Great story packed with vivid imagery. Why are you in level 2? Held my interest and concern for the MC all the way through. Glad this was featured as I hadn't read it before. Took me back lots of years as I grew up in farm country in the midwest. Thanks for this sweet story of a time when siblings actually were our playmates and friends.