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"Okay, I've got one." Jen giggled, convinced her sister could never get this one, it was good, her best one yet. "I see lots of green and um, I hear blue. I feel something hard and uh, grooved under me."
Smiling, Carly closed her eyes imagining where her big sister might be. 'Imaginary Hide and Seek' they called it. One would describe somewhere they had been before, and the other would try to guess. "How can you hear blue?" she questioned. "Oh wait! I know, you're at the lake! That one Mom and Dad used to take us to all the time. You're in the big tree right?"
Jen snapped her fingers swinging her arm. "Oh man, I thought you would never get that one. You're good."
"Hey Jenny," Carly asked with a furrowed brow, "why don't we ever go there anymore?"
Jen's eyes darted down as she played with her fingernails. "You know..."
"Duh! If I knew I wouldn't be asking would I?"
She sighed, "Well, that's where the accident was. Mom and Dad felt it was..it was too hard to go back. They said they can't drive down that road without thinking about it." Jenny wanted to change the subject. She hated talking about that day. "Okay its your turn now, pick a spot."
Carly crossed her arms, when were people going to get over it already, its been 3 years. "We need to go back to the lake."
"Carly, that's...that's not gonna happen. We can find a new spot."
"I won't know what it looks like though, I'm blind remember?” she said sarcastically. We need to go back to THAT lake."
Jen felt a rebellious tear threatening the corner of her eye. “Carly, I don't really want to talk about this. Its hard for some of us to go there." She felt anxiety inside her chest, it was her fault, she had been arguing with Carly that morning. She winced as she thought back...
Jen was in a bad mood that morning she didn't want to leave the lake, 'just one more day' she argued with her mom. As they drove, Carly wanted her to look at pictures she drew of the lake. Jen ignored her, arms folded staring out the side window. Carly was insistent and finally Jen snatched the pictures out of her hand and crumpled them up telling her that she didn't want to see any of her stupid pictures right now. Carly threw her hands over her eyes, sobbing. Dad yelled twisting his head around to see what happened not seeing the car coming around the corner until he heard the horn honking and tires screeching. Mom screamed. Dad hit the brakes and yanked the wheel. Impact was on Carly's side. They had hoped the blindness would be temporary, but at the time that was the least of their concerns. They were just happy they were all alive.
Jen told Carly how it was her fault, the guilt she had, how Mom and Dad hadn't been the same since that day.
Carly sat for a minute, wondering how she hadn't known all of this. "That's ridiculous! I don't blame you, or Dad, I never have." She looked at her sister who was now staring at her in disbelief. "Things happen. You know? Like, how all the things that happen work to the good of those that love God right? So that means He has a plan. I could have died. Any of us could have. And wouldn't that be worse that living without sight?"
Jen was stunned, her sister was so much stronger and wiser than her and was 4 years younger. "Carly, I...does Dad know how you feel? He feels guilty too, I hear them arguing about it sometimes. And now that I think about it, you sound a lot like Mom, Car. She tells him the same thing."
"I need to talk to them." Carly snickered at her thought. "It's like our game. You have all been hiding in your guilt for so long that you didn't realize the truth was right in front of you. You need to stop blaming yourself and see the good that came from it."
"And what good would that be?"
"Well...you for one. You hang out with me more now."
Jen laughed through her tears, "Are you sure YOU aren't the big sister O' Wise One?"
Carly laughed, "Come on, lets talk to Mom and Dad."
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