The Official Writing Challenge
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You really did show melancholy in your piece. I like the way you waited till close to the end to reveal the name of the cottage.
Your story would be easier to read if you would leave a space between paraagraphs.
Agree with the first comment - double spacing between paragraphs makes the reading much easier. Also, just my suggestion, but for me, breaking the first l-o-n-g paragraph into shorter paragraphs would have made following the thoughts easier - for example, a paragraph describing the woman and the storm; one for the description of the cabin; etc. You did a terrific job with setting and holding the mood for this story. :)
Wow! I could relate to a lot of what the MC was going thru. I especially liked the phrase about keeping the outside out & the inside in. I hope the MC eventually gets to her Father.
Do I detect some symbolism/allegory here? The father who neither slumbers nor sleeps? I hope your MC chooses to seek out her father rather than to inhabit melancholy permanently.
08/09/08
This is a great piece of writing, with layer upon layer of meaning, simple at first, but stunning when the depth opens up.
Thought-provoking entry.
Very provocative. It will make me wonder for a long time about this family's relationships. Thanks for writing.
08/13/08
Wow! Great work.

May God bless!

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

08/14/08
Great opening. It leaves me wanting to know more.