The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/31/08
I love this! So many lessons could be learned from Gilbert. I'd like to read on and find out where his relationship with Adele goes.
I am not a sports fan & rarely read anything having to do with sports so almost passed this story by. Glad I took a look! Well done, and the last line brought a chuckle out of me.
07/31/08
Oooh! This is intense! I think you nailed "concentration" very well. Even the reader, who knows next to nothing about the game is concentrating!
08/01/08
A very powerful tool for examining our own self-talk. Well done!
08/01/08
I really enjoyed the story! Unfortunately, many of us grew up with the don't mentality. Thanks for the message in this!
08/04/08
Very intriguing! I really liked this and the alternative/new/creative style caught my attention quickly. Gilbert's dilemma was entertaining and interesting--good job!
Strong, descriptive building of the MC. Your words really let us see his inner thoughts and motivations. Very nice. :)
08/05/08
I really enjoyed the creative style of this and Gilbert was a fantastic MC. Great job.
08/06/08
Sort of like God gives us "free will" (well, somewhat free), good authors et their characters exist on their own. Gilbert is a distinct character--very believable. This seems like the start of a Gilbert series. Great message too!
Wonderful messages here! I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. Congratulations on your win! Well deserved!
Congratulations, Lisa, on your EC! I am so excited for you!
08/07/08
Congratulations, Lisa! A well deserved win!
Congratulations on a truly well deserved win. I loved your story.
Congratulations, Lisa. I loved the ending, but the whole story was exceptionally written as well. With type of writing, you will be moving up quickly I'm sure. Loren
08/07/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is really good. First, I'm excited to find another female writer who knows so much about football. :) Second, this had a great, serious message, with humor throughout--my favorite kind of story. Great job.
As another female who loves football, I really enjoyed your story. Very well written with a great message.
I loved the point that you made. This being my first day of a new school year, I will keep it in mind. Thanks for a super story. D
08/07/08
Lisa, this is superb--I particularly like your quirky style, which I've never seen anything like here at FW. You're definitely one to watch out for! Welcome to Advanced, m'dear...
08/08/08
I enjoyed this from start to finish, and in the humor of your piece were many truths - It had me thinking about my own ways of parenting. And who would have thought two sports stories would have landed in the FW top 5? Congrats, very creative, absolutely enjoyable, subtly thought provoking, and a well deserved EC.
08/08/08
This was a very entertaining story (even for non-sport fans)and the message came across loud and clear. Pat yourself on the back with this winner. Look forward to reading more.