The Official Writing Challenge
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This piece made me think of a number of landings in the history of our country's past. Hittig the beach at Normandy keeps coming to mind. The darkness, the crowdedness, the bodies touching lead me to recall the scenes of soldiers crowded into a an ocean troop carrier approaching a beach landing, preparing to go to war.
I also thought about a crowded slave boat as I read the article for fourth time. I also at thought at one point that the writer was describing a frightening dream. And although the article was very descriptive a little more clarity of expression and improved sentence structure and a spelling check could have made for easier reading. Thanks for sharing your article and keep writing.
Wow - very vivid.
I would think this was very hard to write. I don't think I could have pulled off the dialect this well! Effective and chilling, it made me realize how soft and cushy my life is compared to others....
Wow, this was very effective. Brings tears. Well done.
Not sure if you were trying to describe the landing of African slaves or not. If you were the dialect would not fit. Slaves from Africa would still speak their own language and speak of their own gods. Good attempt though at trying to convey the anguish of those who are forced into servitude.
When I look at his as a symbol of the poor, destitute sinners that we are, working hard to find our way through a cold cruel world, then this is a stroke of genius. Effective in every way.