The Official Writing Challenge
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07/26/08
Very interesting story with quite a surprising ending. I realize you were trying to create a disoriented feel with your POV, however I found it almost too disorienting. I had to read it several times and still struggled with the various POV's scattered throughout.
07/26/08
Interesting piece and very poetic. I was a little lost in the beginning though. After reading it a couple times, I think I understand it. The first perspective must be God looking in on a man. The second is the fish looking out at the man. The fish is symbolic of the man through the whole story. I think the key to understanding it is that you have the whole focus anchored on the man from two perspectives. Am I right? Work on being clear and your writing will be more potent.
07/29/08
The intensity came through loud and clear, even if the meaning didn't. It's hard to capture intensity and word count is limiting.
07/30/08
I have to agree with the others. This is good writing--very intense and descriptive without superfluous words. But I just cannot decipher the meaning here. I understand the fish's perspective, but aside from that I was getting vague ideas that some woman had died (was murdered? Was it an attempted suicide pact??). The man's perspective, or God's perspective, was not clear to me. It's a very intriguing read though!